Wednesday, 4 July 2007

New Wine Releases: Pinot Gris Roundup

The new Cabernet Sauvignons are out, but let’s forget about them! It’s summer, so we all want to be sitting on the roofs of our sheds with a rose between our teeth and a bucket of Pinot Gris between our legs, right? Right! Onward!!

Fleeting Gannymede (by the good men and women of Shattered Flask Vinyards in Western Australia) is a queasy, flaky panhandler of a white wine, with a few extra balustrades added to the tannins for good measure! It loses a few points for being a little sentimental, body-wise, but overall it has a quaffability-to-furtiveness ratio of at least three quarters! I give it a Seventy-Two!

The Pig that Died (Bonus Beats Vinyards) is nothing if not contagious. And it’s not contagious. So it’s nothing to me! You hear me? You’re NOTHING TO ME! Forty-nine points.

Sir Elton John has acquired some grape fields in southern Italy, and the first release is Rocket Man Pinot Gris. Like the man himself, this is a short, tempestuous wine that doesn’t age particularly well. Best enjoyed around 1978. Sixty-six points.

Pinot Gris is well-known in the wine world for going very well with salads, particularly when eaten off the back of a leopard. This has never been more true than in the case of Waįn Sweaty Barrel Select from McVinYards Vinyards. The addition of ball bearings to the drink really emphasizes the middle eights and suspended sevenths, but watch you don’t choke on them! This gets my best score of the day, ninety!

Wines available from the following stockists: Strangebins, Felchers, Talladega Nights and Ron’s Top-Notch Wine Emporium by the Seaside.

3 comments:

Sir Nigel Ramsbottom III said...

I personally rather enjoyed my sampling of The Pig that Died. I thought the bouquet perfectly caught the essense of a pig rotting under the Lombard sun. It pares wonderfully with Lutefisk.

I felt you were far too generous with Rocket Man, however, whose delicate flavour reminded me of the time I recieved a mouthful of gasoline while siphoning of gas from cars in a parking lot in Yarmouth back in '78.

Rodrigo said...

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The Imaginary Reviewer said...

Sir Nigel: Thanks for your feedback. I guess the wonderful thing about wine is that it means different things to different people, even if they are wrong and I am right. I daresay that siphoning gas may have had a slight effect on your tastebuds, mayhaps?

Rodrigo: Thank you for your kind words; I must say that I agree with you entirely about the state of South American wine, although I think your recommendations for fixing the problem fall a little short. Also, I have no need for new t-shirts for the time being, thank you.