Thursday, 3 January 2008

The Imaginary Review's Review of the Year's Reviews

As December comes to an end, all newspapers like to look back at the previous year, taking stock of the stories, analysing the ups and downs, and taking the opportunity to reprint old articles, saving money that would have otherwise been paid to useless journalists.

The New York Times's list of the best geese of the year was a definite highlight for me. I was a bit surprised by the inclusion of Beaky in the top ten, as she strikes me as being a most disagreeable goose. But it's hard to disagree with the paper's top three, in ascending order: Muffy, Graham the Goose and Ducky Wah Wah. All three are geese who have furthered the causes of geese everywhere, and are certainly deserving of their accolades.

Less successful was the Daily Express's annual run-down of the most offensive words of the year. While the writers put forward a good argument for the inclusion of 'dipstick', I fail to see how 'Borrovan' can be considered more offensive than 'f*ck'.

Nigel Slater's list of the 2008's must-see pub signs in the Guardian pulled no punches and had several surprises. I've visited The Awful Sundae in Gosport several times and found their sign to be a great disappointment. However, the number one sign in the list, Nantwich's The Sidney Youngblood was a worthy entry.

Nothing in Slate Magazine's Top 20 politicians of the year made sense.

The Chicago Tribune had a great list of the 100 places to visit in Shugborough, Millford, before you die in 2008. The writing was excellent, however I am somewhat offended by the assumption that I will die in 2008.

Billboard Magazine's twenty best ringtones of the year held few surprises, with Rhianna's 'Look at me (I'm wearing a Skirt)' at the top spot. Other popular ringtones from 2007 included Li'l John's 'D*pst*ck B*rrovan' and Glenys Kinnock's cover of the Ramones' 'Blitzkreig Bop'.

And finally, The Imaginary Review published a review of some of the end of year reviews from 2007 which was a huge failure. For a start, the list was late, appearing long after the countdown to midnight on December 31. The reviews were poorly written, pedestrian at best, and completely unfunny. If the Imaginary Reviewer wants to increase his readership in 2008, then he really needs to pull his socks up, and soon. I would recommend some self-referencial humour, possibly with a little more modesty and self-effacement.

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