New Comics Round-up

Comic books are a bit like soap operas, aren’t they? They’re like soap operas with more spandex and fighting. Well, actually, WWE Wrestling is like a soap opera with spandex and fighting; comic books are like soap operas with spandex, fighting and speech bubbles. Hmm, I’m not sure where I was going with that. I’ll just move on to my comic book reviews.

Hergé’s Adventures of Superman #12 is the very special double-sized conclusion to the critically-acclaimed series. I don’t want to give too much away, but this is a highly satisfying end to a nail-biting storyline. Does Superman find the secrets of Smuggler’s Cove? Will Lois and Captain Haddock escape from the dungeon before the water drowns them? And what has Lex Luthor done with Snowy? All will be revealed if you buy this comic.

The Splendiferous Spider-man #64 introduces some new villains for Spidey to battle. The STD Gang, with Chlamydia Pete, VD Girl and The Clap could be the deadliest foes old web-head has ever faced! I’ll be honest; I didn’t particularly like this issue, mostly because the character design for the bad guys was a little too graphic for my liking. And the ending - in which Spider-man was rescued by a mysterious stranger known as Prophylacticus the Preventor - seemed a little tacked-on.

X-Men: The Re-Imagining is a great four-issue mini-series in which the mutant heroes are beset by falling subscription numbers and advertising revenue, and are forced by an evil super villain called ‘The Editor’ to undergo a horrific change in direction to gain new readers. Characters die, good guys turn bad, dead characters are reborn and one super-heroine comes out as a lesbian. How will Cyclops and the team survive? Hint: Time travel.

The best graphic novel out this month is Batman’s Greatest Scowls, a collection of the best grimaces from the last few decades of Dark Knight stories. My particular favourites include the one where he’s going “grr” and the one where he’s not saying anything but you can tell he’s really really mad.

The most promising new comic book looks like being Australian Stumpy Tail Cattle Dog Man. This excellent series sees a mild-mannered weatherman gain the super powers of an Australian Stumpy Tail Cattle Dog after being bitten by a radioactive goat. With his excellent sense of smell and amazing herding ability, Australian Stumpy Tail Cattle Dog Man is able to foil crime and rescue wandering flocks of sheep. Created by Frank Miller, this comic book should be on everyone’s wanted list for years to come!

The Imaginary Reviewer is deliberately not mentioning Watchmen so that he’s not accused of trying to generate extra search traffic by mentioning Watchmen despite the current popularity of Watchmen and the current release of Watchmen the movie which is based on the Watchmen comic book. No, no mention of Watchmen here.

The Imaginary Review Comics Review of the Year

2007 was probably the best year for comic books since 2005. Loads of exciting things happened, heroes came, heroes died, heroes became villains and some villains turned into dogs. The most talked-about event in the comic book world was Marvel's massive crossover, Civil Union. Readers were stunned when Captain America and Iron Man became the first super-powered same-sex marriage in comics history; all summer long the villains of the Marvel Universe tried to break up the union, including Kang the Conquerer, who ultimately died at the hands of Iron Man's mother. The X-Men got involved, baking some cakes and agreeing to help with the catering of the wedding, and Spiderman and Moon Knight provided the music. The shock of the event was when The Thing and Sleepwalker argued over who would read their speech first, and both killed each other. The comics world was shocked until it was revealed that the whole thing had been a dream all along.

DC had a pretty amazing year too. The most popular new series was Matter-Eater Lad's solo series, still going strong, despite the whole storyline being a dream. Best issue of the series had to be #4, when Matter-Eater Lad is involved in a hotdog-eating contest against that Japanese guy, with the fate of the world at stake!

The best new character in a comic book in 2007 had to be Dog Man. Dog Man is a man, with all the powers of a dog! People said Image Comics were running out of ideas, but Dog Man really does take the biscuit. The dog biscuit, that is! The best moment in Dog Man was the dream episode, in which Dog Man grows breasts (something that has now become company policy for every single new character in Image Comics).

Shock of the year was the return of Ectoboy, Clive Barker's rubbish super hero child thing. He died again after two issues, then the whole thing turned out to be a dream, and it was never spoken of again.

Worst idea for a comic book character? That has to be Window Man, who I just made up.

With more and more comic books being turned into movies - Ghost Rider, Superman Returns, The Fantastic Four, What If?: The Movie, Cry of the Ragman, Superman's Pal Jimmie Olsen Returns, Clive Barker's Hyperkind, Justice League Antarctica, Lois Lane: Superman's Girlfriend Returns and Dolphindroids: The Movie - 2007 was interesting as they were all crap, with the exception of Dolphindroids.

So, what can we look forward to in 2008? Well, Marvel have announced that all of the X-Men will die in March, with many of them returning in June (and then the whole thing being a dream). DC are expected to bring back every single one of their characters who has ever died. This may or may not be a dream (it probably will be a dream). Image are hyping up their latest hero, Boob-Woman; they're being very secretive about her appearance, however. And black and white comics will still be rubbish.