Equipment Review: The Craw 8000

Released as a companion for the Fleiss-warder 35, the Craw 8000’s manufacturers promise that it has none of the dethroning issues that haunted its predecessors, and that it has a newly-updated rashburn speed of up to 23 digibuttons. To put these claims to the test, I hooked the 8000 up to my Crackenheim, and let the hamfists do the talking!

I was quite impressed with the results. With modulation set to a steady 0.7 to 0.8 Dagobharrs per second, the new Craw really does display little to no dethroning. There’s a satisfying crimshaw despondency too, which really did surprise me, given the lack of tact from the three-point termination clippets.

Where the Craw really falls down, however, is in its lack of zeal, especially in the mighty hourlabs. The 8000’s immediate predecessor, the 7500, had a plenititude capacity of over eight million, whereas the newer model somehow limits itself to three quarters of that amount. In this day and age, when Fleabasters are pumping out a diode’s worth of kleptom, this is a truly unforgivable oversight from the people at Craw.

In hardware terms, the 8000 is compatible with the latest models of BDRSIs, Capstam 470s and Digimuppets, but for some reason it isn’t backwards-compatible with any of the Fortuoso Megaframes, and while the user manual claims that it is compatible with the Twitter Minilur, I found that hooking my own up to the Craw 8000 filled my study with Parakeets.

Actual, living Parakeets.

In summary, then, the Craw 8000 is an acceptable entry point into the Graversham arena, but at a cost of £425, there are many cheaper and more user-friendly models on the market. For the experienced user the 8000 has some nice features, but there aren’t enough to justify replacing your Blot GD or your Polysci 2.2.