It had to happen sooner or later

Imaginary Review fans! Remember last November, when I wrote the following review:

http://imaginary-review.blogspot.com/2008/11/television-review-holy-smokes.html

Well, have a look at the following from today's Onion:

BURBANK, CA—Executives at ABC announced Monday that the network will premier a new Lost spin-off series this fall based around that show's popular smoke
monster character.

The new series, a half-hour family-oriented comedy called Where There's Smoke, is
touted by ABC as the new anchor of its Thursday-night lineup.
"Somewhere between the smoke monster's first appearance on Lost— when it was depicted as a strange unseen force uprooting trees—and that episode in season three where it grabbed Mr. Eko and smashed him against the ground until he was dead, this character became the breakout star of the show," said Stephen McPherson,
president of ABC Entertainment. "And that's exactly why we're so excited about
Where There's Smoke. We get to see the monster's light comedic side in a show
about life, love, and good friends having good times."

"Because after all, Where There's Smoke, there's laughter," McPherson added.

ABC sources reported that the series will transplant the evil black cloud from the
island of Lost to the suburbs of Chicago, where it works as a sports radio host,
surrounded by "a whole new group of crazy characters." Actress Lea Thompson has
signed on to play the monster's long-suffering wife, who must put up with her
husband's screwball antics while raising the couple's two rambunctious children,
Tanner and Smoky, Jr.

Veteran TV producer Chuck Lorre, of Dharma & Greg and The Big Bang Theory fame, will helm the show, which he said will focus mainly on the deadly creature's adjustments to suburbia and fatherhood, and its comically contentious relationship with its boss, a fussy radio station manager played by Richard Kind.
"The whole concept began with us asking, 'So what happens to the monster after it kills somebody and disappears down that ancient temple vent? What kind of life might it have?'" Lorre said. "And what we realized is that audiences really relate to this character and would like to see it in everyday situations, shooting the breeze with buddies at a local watering hole or murdering its son's soccer coach and depositing his lifeless body in a tree."

"And of course, you'll be hearing lots of its classic catchphrase,
'Brrrrr, chk-chk-chk-chk, muuuuuuuuuuuuaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrhhh,'" Lorre
added.

Lost producer Jack Bender has confirmed that the smoke monster will no
longer be part of his show's regular cast. However, ABC has promised that Where
There's Smoke will feature a number of guest appearances from Lost regulars.
Sources said the pilot episode will feature an appearance by actor Michael
Emerson as a slobby houseguest named Benjamin Linus who overstays his welcome,
much to the chagrin of the smoke monster's wife.

Though the project has been in development for almost a year, negotiations reached a standstill last winter when representatives for the mysterious, billowing actor expressed concern that their client would risk being typecast as "just a smoke monster" if the role were carried into a new series.
"We're always sensitive to these kinds of things, but we actually think this new vehicle will make people realize [the monster] is a sophisticated actor with a great deal of range," said McPherson, who agreed to pay the show's star $2 million per episode after scenes between the smoke monster and a nosy, ethnic next-door neighbor tested well with audiences. "People love the smoke monster, and people love to laugh. This series is a can't-miss."Added McPherson, "And I'm not just blowing smoke here."

So...am I being paranoid?

Television Review: Holy Smokes

A recurring theme throughout many modern sitcoms is that they are driven by the personality or character of a single person. In most cases, this person is an established comedian or actor, like Ray Romano, Gerry Seinfeld or Ray Romano’s brother with the deep voice. Occasionally though, a television network will take a risk with an unproven personality, just as NBC have done with their latest sitcom, Holy Smokes.

Holy Smokes stars Jasper Haines as Joe Patrickson, a priest living with his wife and two children in California. Haines’s biggest role to date has been on the popular TV show Lost, in which he has starred for the past four seasons as the Smoke Monster, a large, swirling mass of black fog that consumes people and appears to be able to penetrate their memories. Before this breakthrough role, Haines had numerous bit parts, such as his appearance in Rescue Me as the ‘Smoke from Fire in Apartment B’ and in Without a Trace as ‘Smoke Coming from Kidnapper’s Cigarette’. This is his first starring role.

Jasper Haines, star of Holy Smokes

And boy, does he relish his time in front of the camera! Given that Haines is a giant pillar of acrid black fumes, people could be forgiven for having some doubt as to his acting ability, but he is definitely the man for the job. One of Holy Smokes’ senior writers has been quoted as saying that this is the role that Jasper Haines was born to play, and I agree with him. Well, I would, but I’m not sure that he was actually born as such. He looks like he fell out of a chimney.

Despite having no facial features to speak of, no voice except for a general ominous rumbling, and all the other drawbacks associated with being a big pile of wispy smog, Jasper does account for himself rather well. Indeed, when Joe’s attempts to put on his new priestly dog collar are thwarted by his lack of a physical neck, the actor is funnier than Jim Belushi in any episode of According to Jim, despite Belushi’s obvious advantage in the facial expression and voice area.

Content-wise, Holy Smokes does run the risk of being a little too samey for my liking. Most of the jokes revolve around the difficulties that Joe faces in his daily life as a priest who also happens to be a giant ball of smoke. The aforementioned inability to wear a dog collar, his misfortune when people switch on extractor fans, his unfortunate tendency to consume his parishioners, Lost-style: these are recurring jokes throughout the series. While they are certainly funny the first time, they do tend to grate as time goes on.

Joe’s relationship with his wife is a welcome element to the series, providing much relief from the obligatory “oh no, I just accidentally consumed old Mrs Gratt and her dog” jokes. Jenny Patrickson, played by Daphne Zuniga, provides a very good foil for Joe, and the running joke in which she repeatedly complains of her husband’s ineffectiveness in the bedroom is great. The accompanying uncertainty of the Patricksons’ children’s paternity gives the show a slightly tragicomic feel at times. Everyone knows that Joe couldn’t have got his wife pregnant; he’s a big ball of smoke with no genitalia!

In all, Holy Smoke is a fresh and funny new show, and Jasper Haines should go on to be a big star in the future. There are already rumours that he will be co-starring with Tom Cruise in a film set in WW2 Germany, and I think it will be nice to see him in a strongly characterised, serious role. But as a comedian, Haines still shines with a murky, foggy glory that really is unique, and Holy Smokes could well prove to be this year’s Everybody Loves Raymond’s Brother.

Holy Smokes, NBC, Thursdays at 9.30. Enjoy it while you can, it'll probably be cancelled after ten minutes.

Film Review: Three Men and Two and a Half Men

After the tragic death of Steve Guttenberg during the filming of last year’s Three Men and a Baby Whale, fans of the Three Men film series were divided as to whether another sequel to the hugely popular Three Men and a Baby should be made. Director Ian Pinchcock has ignored the desires of the fickle masses, and jumped straight into making a fourth film, Three Men and Two and a Half Men.

Original Three Men cast members Tom Selleck and Sam From Cheers are joined by eighties throwback actor Corey Haim in the role vacated by Guttenberg. The plot of 3M&2&1/2M (catchy!) revolves around this masculine trio being forced to look after a dorky simpleton, his fat son and Charlie Sheen, after Tom Selleck’s character rescues them from a sinking dinghy. Fans of the unfathomably popular sitcom Two and a Half Men will love seeing their favourite characters gurning their way through two hours of inoffensive fart jokes and hilarious homosexual relationship misunderstandings with Haim et al.

Indeed, there is a lot to love about this film, from the bit where Charlie Sheen is walking in one direction, sees an attractive woman and changes direction to follow her mid-sentence, to the bit where the eponymous three men are forced to hide the eponymous two and a half men when having a romantic dinner for six with their girlfriends. And who can forget the bit where the fat kid burps? I’m still laughing at that bit now.

But fans of the original …and a Baby, …and a Little Lady and …and a Baby Whale will be disappointed by the lack of the familiar subtext wherein three males are brought together by the steadying influence of an immature female. I know there are numerous clubs and societies dedicated to discussing the constant feminist undertones in the 3 Men oeuvre, and they will be dismayed by the fact that the three men are not joined together by a female, but by a dork, a fat kid and a womanising buffoon. The overwhelming masculinity of this film is such that I had grown an extra testicle by the time the credits started rolling.

In summary, Three Men and Two and a Half Men is a relatively enjoyable romp through the psyche of the vapid American male, and Corey Haim does a good job of stepping in Guttenberg’s shoes. But there is still something lacking once one gets beyond the moustaches and farts, and that thing is women. I give this film three stars, which means you’ll avoid it in the cinema, but you might watch it on DVD later. And when you do, you can look out for the ghost of Steve Guttenberg, which is rumoured to appear behind a curtain in one of the scenes.

Incidentally, the makers of this film are already planning a sequel, Three Men and Two and a Half Men and the Man in the Iron Mask. I bet it’s rubbish.

Television Review

The new sitcom from Ricky Gervais, An Annoying Full-of-Himself Man Gets His Comeuppance With Excruciating but Hilarious Results, is another triumph from the Emmy Award-winning comedian. It marks a new stage in the career of the funnyman, and shows that he is capable of an incredible range of talent.

The Imaginary Review has seen An Annoying Full-of-Himself Man Gets His Comeuppance With Excruciating but Hilarious Results and we can certainly say that it displays a remarkable departure from Gervais's normal output. As with his other comedies, Gervais appears in the main role, but here his character is incredibly different to those from his other shows. Unlike David Brent, who was irritating and arrogant, and the bloke from Extras, who was obnoxious and pompous, his new character is annoying and full of himself. Truly, Ricky Gervais is a man who can pull off any role.

The style of the new comedy is very different from those previously mentioned, too. In it, Ricky's character usually ends up getting his comeuppance, and the results are hilarious. But at the same time, they're also somewhat excruciating. Indeed, one could say that the comeuppance has Excruciating and Hilarious results.

Consider, if you will, the results of Gervais's character's comeuppance in the first episode. At times you - the viewer - will be cringing out of the sheer excruciation of the comeuppance. But you'll be laughing too, as the results of the comeuppance are also hilarious. Gervais has already won the British Comedy Award for actor, sitcom and genius of the year 2008, despite the fact that nobody else has seen the new show. Apparently he will win next year's Emmy for best actor in December, a month before the series begins on television.

Did I mention that his character is Annoying and Full of himself? Brilliant.

The Imaginary Review can't recommend An Annoying Full-of-Himself Man Gets His Comeuppance With Excruciating but Hilarious Results enough. We haven't actually seen the final episode from the series, due to a veil of secrecy from the producers, but we'd bet a tenner to a penny that it's hilarious! (And excruciating. And something to do with a comeuppance.)

An Annoying Full-of-Himself Man Gets His Comeuppance With Excruciating but Hilarious Results will be shown on BBC One after Christmas, shortly after you've been made practically orgasmic with anticipation by a series of idents that make it look different from all his other shows, but which will cause a crushing disappointment not unlike losing your virginity to a spotty premature-ejaculating adolescent at a party, with similar feelings of regret and betrayal.