My God. It has been a busy, busy few weeks. Here’s the thing, chaps: I had been planning to write a post about my top ten video games of the last decade, but I didn’t comfortable doing so until I had played every single video game from that period. So for the last two months, I have sat down and played – to completion – every single PlayStation, PS2, PS3, Xbox, Xbox 360, PC, PSP, Wii, N64, GameCube and GBA game released since 2001. It was a massive task, but someone had to do it.
When you read the following, my ultimate top ten videogames of the last decade, I’m sure you’ll agree it was worth the bedsores, lost family time and thirty pounds of gained weight. Here’s the list:
10: Parkour Sniper (PS2)
A surprise hit amongst older people and the French, Parkour Sniper was released in 2005. The game is viewed from a first person perspective, and your task is to take out the agile young people jumping around the city landscape using a special light gun. A lot of satisfaction can be derived from waiting until they have made their way to the top of a tall building and offing them, watching their lifeless body bounce off the railings and flagpoles below.
9: School Dance Revolution (Arcade, PS2)
The best of the dancing games came as a surprise to most. What nostalgic fun this was! As a (computer generated) inept DJ span terrible music, the aim of the game was to stand at the side of your room for as long as possible. Later levels included awkward shuffling, surreptitious alcohol smuggling and teacher avoidance. The two player game, in which you had to be rejected by the other gamer in as cringeworthy a fashion as possible, was an added bonus.
8: Grand Theft Auto: Headbutting Authority Figures (PS3, Xbox, PC)
Finally, a GTA worth playing! None of that rubbish carjacking or drug dealing, just finding authority figure after authority figure and giving them the old ‘Glasgow Kiss’. Fun for all the family!
7: Movie Tie-In: The Video Game (PS, PC, Atari Lynx)
This sprawling RPG saw you take control of a video game designer given the task of adapting a new movie for the console market. With different playable characters, an excellent fight system for beating up annoying middle management types and levels of difficulty depending on the film being adapted (from ‘action/adventure’ to ‘period drama’), this game stood out in a time when RPGs were shite.
6: Nomihodai no Umeboshi (PSP)
Available only in Japan, this tragically overlooked game makes the list to show how amazing and extensive my knowledge of video games is.
5: Cowbell Hero (PS2, Xbox)
Who needs guitars? Nobody, when you have cowbells! Altogether now, “We need an increase in cowbell! I have an illness and the only thing that can cure it is an increase in cowbell!”
4: Jetpony II: Stumplegs (Every muthafarkin’ system)
The sequel to the popular platform shooter begins when Jetpony wakes up after a night on the town to find that his legs have been removed. Luckily, he still has his jets, and everyone’s favourite Shetland Pony goes on a murderous rampage to try and find his missing limbs and the bastards who took them. Quite possibly the goriest game ever made, and all the better for it.
3: World of Carpark (PC)
In 2001, Lizard Games released Carpark, their first garage-based rpg. It was mildly popular. Then, in 2007, they released the follow-up, a massively multiplayer online car park simulator, and the world rejoiced. Who can forget the first time they chose their character and set foot in that fabled land of disabled spaces, angry attendants and harried mothers? Sure, it could be daunting for the newbie, having to deal with older players who had levelled up and can do a three-point-turn on a sixpence, but this was as rewarding as online gaming was ever likely to get.
2: Tiger Woods Pun Simulator (Xbox 360)
Sure, it’s a brand new game, but making ‘Wood’, ‘In the Rough’ and ‘Leg-over par’ references will never get old! This game will run and run and run!
1: Help! I’m Trapped in James Cameron’s Nose! (PS, PS2, PS3, PS4, Atari 2600)
The best game of the last ten years, bar none. What more can be said? There is more playability, replayability, satisfaction and depth of gameplay in this release than every other game made in the last century. Escaping from the famed director’s nose is challenging, yet the difficulty level and enjoyment means you’ll keep trying to find your way out of the conk. My God, I’m going to go back and start it again, I can’t get enough of this game.
So there you have it. The best games of the noughties. But what do I think will be big news in the 2010s? Here are my tips:
Mummies: Zombies and vampires are old news. Egyptian undead sarcophagi-dwellers are going to be huge in the coming years.
Baccarat: Televised baccarat is gaining popularity, so expect to see lots of tie-in games.
Robots made of meat: I don’t know why, but this is my dark horse.
Benjamin Netanyahu: I’ll be honest, I’m out of ideas.
Showing posts with label Video Game. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Video Game. Show all posts
Thursday, 7 January 2010
Friday, 13 March 2009
Guest Post: Tamquest Softcorp Games Reviews
Hello all, it's The Imaginary Reviewer here. I haven't been posting as much recently due to being incredibly lazy running out of ideas various reasons, and PMJG of Bitterly Books offered to write a review for me so I could sit back and watch porn do all the important things that I've got to do right now. Oh, I'll be reviewing his efforts next week, so pay attention!
Tamquest Softcorp’s latest string of releases has hit the market, and I tore into their video games with a wild abandon not seen since Lindsay Lohan gave up drugs (wink, wink). Here are my first impressions of the new titles:
Grand Theft Ovary
In this sandbox-style game, players use their controller as a versatile suite of medical tools to perform surprise appendectomies, involuntary liposuction, and stealth bowel removal. Technically, it's well-executed. The sound effects have a certain squishy realism to them, while the graphics are well-rendered (I found myself liverjacking over and over just to see the animation one more time). Unfortunately, the gameplay is a little unbalanced--no matter how many malpractice alerts are outstanding against your character, abducting a single street urchin and selling his organs on the black market will earn more than enough money to bribe the medical board to return your doctor's license back to "untarnished" status. Some people might also see the game's freeform, sandbox style of play as lacking in plot.
Gordon Crampton's Chefwar 2KBwelve
For a fighting game that requires fast reflexes, the controls are disappointingly laggy. It took me several tries to get the timing down for the combo attack to julienne string beans, I can only mince chives about half the time, and I swear that you can only peel onions properly if you're double jointed. However, Chefwar 2KBwelve has a surprisingly detailed plot for a fighter, and the game has a certain flair that makes it unexpectedly enjoyable to clothesline the snooty maitre d' and bodyslam the overzealous health inspector. You should probably rent this game to see if your enjoyment of its varied arenas and fighting styles can overcome your frustration with its execution.
Barge Commander: Bonded Owner/Operator
In the tradition of Sid Meier’s Pirates and Port Royale, Tamquest has created a seaborne trading game that thrillingly combines bargain hunting at the dollar store on payday with a ten-hour drive across Nevada in a car with no air conditioning. As a Norwegian Sea Captain in 1932, Barge Commander has you choose the cargo, select the port of call, plan the crew roster, and stand watch in the most accurate, real-time depiction of steam-powered sea travel on the market. While it doesn’t have the same attention to detail as the EuropeanSimulators line of computer programs from Chipfat, it still shows a lot of attention to detail. Unfortunately, a graphics bug present in my copy made everything the color of creamed spinach until I could download a patch that restored the game’s full color palette--composed of nuanced shades of steel gray, overcast gray, slate gray, and slate grey that really made 20th century shipping lanes come alive.
VirtualSweatshop
In VirtualSweatshop, you run an American clothing factory in the legal grey zone of a U.S. protectorate. Players can choose whether to give their indentured "employees" a decent living wage and exert control over other factors in their lives including the frequency and duration of breaks during their 14-hour workday. It turns out that you actually can put a price on human misery, along with a "Made in the USA" label. This game has a pretty steep learning curve; although I quickly earned a production bonus by placing the machines for maximum efficiency, I kept killing my workers by subjecting them to heat stroke and not ventilating the building properly. The number of variables that have to be tracked in this game are staggering, including a separate exposure bar each one of over 30 different types of diseases and parasites, not counting workplace-induced health afflictions like "fluff lung" and "stitcher's finger." I found the game to be a little too complicated for my tastes, but this may appeal to more detail-oriented gamers, sim enthusiasts, and actuaries.
Grandma Dream Day
I’ll admit that at first I was skeptical about this response to the growing number of dating simulators out there. After all, it’s kind of a creepy premise, showering your grandchildren with gifts and taking them out to places like the zoo in a desperate attempt to gain their affection, but it won me over in spite of itself. The cute graphics did a lot to offset the weirdness factor of playing as an old person taking an almost unhealthy interest in children, and the end goal is to have them keep their parents (your children) from sending you to the "bad" nursing home, so it's for a good cause. There's a variety of trip destinations including movies, malls, and the circus (including an unlockable bonus trip to the World Extreme Competitive Still-Life Painting Finals), and all of the items you can buy have unique effects and influences. The game's special "randomizer" feature changes your grandchildrens' preferences so that it's never the same game twice (which proves to be just as well, since I had to play through to the ending 3 times before I ended up somewhere other than the home where orderlies duct tape you into bed and spray you with a garden hose).
Wall Street Wizard
Not much documentation came with Wall Street Wizard. After the installation completed and I opened the program, my boss called to tell me I was fired, the bank foreclosed on my house, and all my money burst into flames. I give this game points for realism, but question its play value.
If you know someone who becomes addicted to any of these games, or who is struggling with video game addiction, check out Bitterly Books tomorrow for a review of a book that could help.
Tamquest Softcorp’s latest string of releases has hit the market, and I tore into their video games with a wild abandon not seen since Lindsay Lohan gave up drugs (wink, wink). Here are my first impressions of the new titles:
Grand Theft Ovary
In this sandbox-style game, players use their controller as a versatile suite of medical tools to perform surprise appendectomies, involuntary liposuction, and stealth bowel removal. Technically, it's well-executed. The sound effects have a certain squishy realism to them, while the graphics are well-rendered (I found myself liverjacking over and over just to see the animation one more time). Unfortunately, the gameplay is a little unbalanced--no matter how many malpractice alerts are outstanding against your character, abducting a single street urchin and selling his organs on the black market will earn more than enough money to bribe the medical board to return your doctor's license back to "untarnished" status. Some people might also see the game's freeform, sandbox style of play as lacking in plot.
Gordon Crampton's Chefwar 2KBwelve
For a fighting game that requires fast reflexes, the controls are disappointingly laggy. It took me several tries to get the timing down for the combo attack to julienne string beans, I can only mince chives about half the time, and I swear that you can only peel onions properly if you're double jointed. However, Chefwar 2KBwelve has a surprisingly detailed plot for a fighter, and the game has a certain flair that makes it unexpectedly enjoyable to clothesline the snooty maitre d' and bodyslam the overzealous health inspector. You should probably rent this game to see if your enjoyment of its varied arenas and fighting styles can overcome your frustration with its execution.
Barge Commander: Bonded Owner/Operator
In the tradition of Sid Meier’s Pirates and Port Royale, Tamquest has created a seaborne trading game that thrillingly combines bargain hunting at the dollar store on payday with a ten-hour drive across Nevada in a car with no air conditioning. As a Norwegian Sea Captain in 1932, Barge Commander has you choose the cargo, select the port of call, plan the crew roster, and stand watch in the most accurate, real-time depiction of steam-powered sea travel on the market. While it doesn’t have the same attention to detail as the EuropeanSimulators line of computer programs from Chipfat, it still shows a lot of attention to detail. Unfortunately, a graphics bug present in my copy made everything the color of creamed spinach until I could download a patch that restored the game’s full color palette--composed of nuanced shades of steel gray, overcast gray, slate gray, and slate grey that really made 20th century shipping lanes come alive.
VirtualSweatshop
In VirtualSweatshop, you run an American clothing factory in the legal grey zone of a U.S. protectorate. Players can choose whether to give their indentured "employees" a decent living wage and exert control over other factors in their lives including the frequency and duration of breaks during their 14-hour workday. It turns out that you actually can put a price on human misery, along with a "Made in the USA" label. This game has a pretty steep learning curve; although I quickly earned a production bonus by placing the machines for maximum efficiency, I kept killing my workers by subjecting them to heat stroke and not ventilating the building properly. The number of variables that have to be tracked in this game are staggering, including a separate exposure bar each one of over 30 different types of diseases and parasites, not counting workplace-induced health afflictions like "fluff lung" and "stitcher's finger." I found the game to be a little too complicated for my tastes, but this may appeal to more detail-oriented gamers, sim enthusiasts, and actuaries.
Grandma Dream Day
I’ll admit that at first I was skeptical about this response to the growing number of dating simulators out there. After all, it’s kind of a creepy premise, showering your grandchildren with gifts and taking them out to places like the zoo in a desperate attempt to gain their affection, but it won me over in spite of itself. The cute graphics did a lot to offset the weirdness factor of playing as an old person taking an almost unhealthy interest in children, and the end goal is to have them keep their parents (your children) from sending you to the "bad" nursing home, so it's for a good cause. There's a variety of trip destinations including movies, malls, and the circus (including an unlockable bonus trip to the World Extreme Competitive Still-Life Painting Finals), and all of the items you can buy have unique effects and influences. The game's special "randomizer" feature changes your grandchildrens' preferences so that it's never the same game twice (which proves to be just as well, since I had to play through to the ending 3 times before I ended up somewhere other than the home where orderlies duct tape you into bed and spray you with a garden hose).
Wall Street Wizard
Not much documentation came with Wall Street Wizard. After the installation completed and I opened the program, my boss called to tell me I was fired, the bank foreclosed on my house, and all my money burst into flames. I give this game points for realism, but question its play value.
If you know someone who becomes addicted to any of these games, or who is struggling with video game addiction, check out Bitterly Books tomorrow for a review of a book that could help.
Monday, 14 April 2008
Computer Game Review: The Shops
Blizzard Entertainment released the hugely popular Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game (MMORPG) World of Warcraft in 2004, and in the years that followed, the game gained over ten million subscribers. Now Blizzard are about to release their long-awaited follow-up, and The Imaginary Review has got its hands on a preview copy. From the outset it’s clear that the company are trying to attract the kind of gamer who is not interested in the Swords and Sorcery fantasy of WoW.
The Shops, as the new MMORPG is called, takes place in a vast, sprawling suburban shopping centre, called ‘The Mall of Trambluxorr’, showing that the game’s designers find it a little difficult to get used to a game in a non-fantasy setting. Players begin by choosing their class of shopper, from harassed mother of three trying to get the week’s groceries, to the sad, lonely bachelor stocking up on microwavable ready meals. You begin the game by talking to the non-controllable in-game characters, who give you quests (or, as they are known in the game, ‘shopping lists’). Your job is to get around the Mall, finding the objects that you are asked to purchase.
Being an MMORPG, the mall is home to hundreds, if not thousands, of other real-life players with whom you may interact if you so choose. At one point I found myself arguing with an Australian nanny about which of us was going to purchase the last box of Arm and Hammer Baking Soda. In the end we came to blows, but her character (a baseball-capped teen) was a higher level than mine, and she kicked my arse. I had to wait several hours before the baking soda was restocked by an artificial intelligence-controlled shop assistant.
The more you play the game and the more quests you complete, the more your character’s level goes up. Various stats govern your character’s abilities, from ‘Shop Layout Knowledge’ to ‘Thrifty Bargain Recognition’. Of course, as in other similar games, money plays a big part too, as it allows you to buy special power-ups as well as the things on your lists. Players controlling the Mother character, for example, can save their money to enable them to put their children in a day-care centre at the mall. While the computer-controlled kids are there they will learn to help their mother with the shopping, making this a highly desirable purchase. One expert player I saw had learned how to become impregnated by a computer-controlled security guard, and had twenty children doing her shopping for her.
The Shops is incredibly realistic, to the point that several beta testers were hospitalised after they confused the game with reality and were convinced that they had bought food for themselves, eventually succumbing to starvation. Well, they’re with God now. When you remember that this is just a game, it’s a fun way to spend two or three hours of an afternoon; but The Shops doesn’t currently have the same addictive nature as World of Warcraft. This could change when Blizzard release their proposed expansion pack, Food Court Hijack, next year.
On a scale of one to ten, with one being Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing and ten being Jet Set Willy, I’d give The Shops a seven.
The Shops, as the new MMORPG is called, takes place in a vast, sprawling suburban shopping centre, called ‘The Mall of Trambluxorr’, showing that the game’s designers find it a little difficult to get used to a game in a non-fantasy setting. Players begin by choosing their class of shopper, from harassed mother of three trying to get the week’s groceries, to the sad, lonely bachelor stocking up on microwavable ready meals. You begin the game by talking to the non-controllable in-game characters, who give you quests (or, as they are known in the game, ‘shopping lists’). Your job is to get around the Mall, finding the objects that you are asked to purchase.
Being an MMORPG, the mall is home to hundreds, if not thousands, of other real-life players with whom you may interact if you so choose. At one point I found myself arguing with an Australian nanny about which of us was going to purchase the last box of Arm and Hammer Baking Soda. In the end we came to blows, but her character (a baseball-capped teen) was a higher level than mine, and she kicked my arse. I had to wait several hours before the baking soda was restocked by an artificial intelligence-controlled shop assistant.
The more you play the game and the more quests you complete, the more your character’s level goes up. Various stats govern your character’s abilities, from ‘Shop Layout Knowledge’ to ‘Thrifty Bargain Recognition’. Of course, as in other similar games, money plays a big part too, as it allows you to buy special power-ups as well as the things on your lists. Players controlling the Mother character, for example, can save their money to enable them to put their children in a day-care centre at the mall. While the computer-controlled kids are there they will learn to help their mother with the shopping, making this a highly desirable purchase. One expert player I saw had learned how to become impregnated by a computer-controlled security guard, and had twenty children doing her shopping for her.
The Shops is incredibly realistic, to the point that several beta testers were hospitalised after they confused the game with reality and were convinced that they had bought food for themselves, eventually succumbing to starvation. Well, they’re with God now. When you remember that this is just a game, it’s a fun way to spend two or three hours of an afternoon; but The Shops doesn’t currently have the same addictive nature as World of Warcraft. This could change when Blizzard release their proposed expansion pack, Food Court Hijack, next year.
On a scale of one to ten, with one being Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing and ten being Jet Set Willy, I’d give The Shops a seven.
Monday, 10 December 2007
2007: The Best Computer and Video Games
Continuing my end of year list-fest, here is my top ten countdown of the best computer and video games of the year.
1) Despotic Vixen (X-Box 360 and Wii)
Despotic Vixen combines the ultraviolence of Grand Theft Auto with the world-building strategy of Sim City and the nudity of a late-night Channel 5 movie. It's a winning combination; the pace of the game is just right, and eventually the game becomes a spralling metropolis of carnage and sin. Your early decisions of who to bed or behead can determine things much later in the game, while the car-racing sidegames add even more excitement to the mix. Superb.
2) Fights on Skis (PC and PC Engine)
The sequel to the highly lauded Fights on a Train and Fights on a Plane, Fights on Skis is quite possibly the best computerised high-speed downhill fighting simulator since Winter Sports Massacre.
3) Wikipedia (PC)
Wikipedia is a massively multiplayer online strategy game in which players must add as much information as possible to an encyclopaedia without getting caught telling lies by other players. While it has been on the market for several years now, Wikipedia really came into its own in 2007 with the 'Complete list of Farscape Episodes' expansion pack.
4) Super Mario Dipthong (Wii)
Nintendo once again hit gold with their Mario franchise, this time with a game based around the Italian Plumber's quest to find words ending in '-ing'. While the controls were fiddly at first (pausing the game is only possible by doing a moonwalk), Mario Dipthong is a rewarding platform puzzler.
5) Cake Baron (PSP and PS3)
Ever wanted a pastry empire? Probably, right? Well, Cake Baron from Sony allowed millions of people to live out their dessert fantasies this year. From opening your first tart shop to crushing the neighbourhood meringue emporium and firebombing Dunkin' Donuts, this game had it all. British gamers were disappointed with the lack of jam tarts, however.
6) Extreme Chariot Racer (X-Box 360 and PS3)
Chariot racing games have been coming and going ever since the 8-bit revolution, but none have ever come close to Ben Hur Challenge on the Playstation, until now. With literally hundreds of courses (all of which are round), customisable horses and great AI for the other racers, this is certainly one of the best racing games set in ancient Rome ever. Plus there's excellent replay value too, with unlockable special playable characters including David Beckham, Ben (of Ben and Jerry fame) and BBC Royal Affairs correspondent Nicholas Whitchall.
7) Two-and-a-Half Men Fighter (Turbografix, Atari Lynx, Nintendo Dolphin and Mega-CD)
Two-and-a-Half Men Fighter allows you to beat up Charlie Sheen or any of the other cast members from the popular US sitcom. And while beating up the fat kid is fun, nothing compares to the visceral thrill that comes from punching Charlie Sheen repeatedly in the face.
8) Fraudulent Canoeist Fake Death House Hide Frenzy (PC)
A very late contender for game of the year, this topical adventure game allows you to play the role of John Darwin, the canoeist who faked his death five years ago. You are confined to your wife's house and you must find places to hide when friends, family members and police drop by. The game is played in real time, which means that it has literally years of gameplay value. If you play the game all the way through and make it to five years' worth of hiding, in 2012 you'll get to enjoy the final level, when you have to make your way to Panama, where you'll be reunited with your wife.
9) Maracas Hero (X-Box 360)
With the success of Guitar Hero and all those drumming games ringing in their ears, game manufacturers rushed to bring out more musical instrument-emulating games. While Tambourine-Shaker and Tuba-Warrior 3 were both excellent, nothing came close to this one. With music from Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass, this game brought people together in ways no other game has; indeed, this game is credited with bringing peace to the Middle East after the PLO challenged the Israeli government to a Maracas-off.
10) Owl Killer 3 (PS3, Sega Master System 2, Playstation 5)
The Owl Killer franchise has produced some good games, but this is the best of the bunch. Based on the bestselling novels by Penelope Lively, you play the role of Domenic Chevalier, the celebrated owl killer. Armed with your trust golden hammer and a whistle, you make your way through eighty-six owl-packed levels, beating the nocturnal birds to death. With music by Jarvis Cocker and graphics inspired by the paintings of Edward Gorey, this was one hot potato. Of a game.
1) Despotic Vixen (X-Box 360 and Wii)
Despotic Vixen combines the ultraviolence of Grand Theft Auto with the world-building strategy of Sim City and the nudity of a late-night Channel 5 movie. It's a winning combination; the pace of the game is just right, and eventually the game becomes a spralling metropolis of carnage and sin. Your early decisions of who to bed or behead can determine things much later in the game, while the car-racing sidegames add even more excitement to the mix. Superb.
2) Fights on Skis (PC and PC Engine)
The sequel to the highly lauded Fights on a Train and Fights on a Plane, Fights on Skis is quite possibly the best computerised high-speed downhill fighting simulator since Winter Sports Massacre.
3) Wikipedia (PC)
Wikipedia is a massively multiplayer online strategy game in which players must add as much information as possible to an encyclopaedia without getting caught telling lies by other players. While it has been on the market for several years now, Wikipedia really came into its own in 2007 with the 'Complete list of Farscape Episodes' expansion pack.
4) Super Mario Dipthong (Wii)
Nintendo once again hit gold with their Mario franchise, this time with a game based around the Italian Plumber's quest to find words ending in '-ing'. While the controls were fiddly at first (pausing the game is only possible by doing a moonwalk), Mario Dipthong is a rewarding platform puzzler.
5) Cake Baron (PSP and PS3)
Ever wanted a pastry empire? Probably, right? Well, Cake Baron from Sony allowed millions of people to live out their dessert fantasies this year. From opening your first tart shop to crushing the neighbourhood meringue emporium and firebombing Dunkin' Donuts, this game had it all. British gamers were disappointed with the lack of jam tarts, however.
6) Extreme Chariot Racer (X-Box 360 and PS3)
Chariot racing games have been coming and going ever since the 8-bit revolution, but none have ever come close to Ben Hur Challenge on the Playstation, until now. With literally hundreds of courses (all of which are round), customisable horses and great AI for the other racers, this is certainly one of the best racing games set in ancient Rome ever. Plus there's excellent replay value too, with unlockable special playable characters including David Beckham, Ben (of Ben and Jerry fame) and BBC Royal Affairs correspondent Nicholas Whitchall.
7) Two-and-a-Half Men Fighter (Turbografix, Atari Lynx, Nintendo Dolphin and Mega-CD)
Two-and-a-Half Men Fighter allows you to beat up Charlie Sheen or any of the other cast members from the popular US sitcom. And while beating up the fat kid is fun, nothing compares to the visceral thrill that comes from punching Charlie Sheen repeatedly in the face.
8) Fraudulent Canoeist Fake Death House Hide Frenzy (PC)
A very late contender for game of the year, this topical adventure game allows you to play the role of John Darwin, the canoeist who faked his death five years ago. You are confined to your wife's house and you must find places to hide when friends, family members and police drop by. The game is played in real time, which means that it has literally years of gameplay value. If you play the game all the way through and make it to five years' worth of hiding, in 2012 you'll get to enjoy the final level, when you have to make your way to Panama, where you'll be reunited with your wife.
9) Maracas Hero (X-Box 360)
With the success of Guitar Hero and all those drumming games ringing in their ears, game manufacturers rushed to bring out more musical instrument-emulating games. While Tambourine-Shaker and Tuba-Warrior 3 were both excellent, nothing came close to this one. With music from Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass, this game brought people together in ways no other game has; indeed, this game is credited with bringing peace to the Middle East after the PLO challenged the Israeli government to a Maracas-off.
10) Owl Killer 3 (PS3, Sega Master System 2, Playstation 5)
The Owl Killer franchise has produced some good games, but this is the best of the bunch. Based on the bestselling novels by Penelope Lively, you play the role of Domenic Chevalier, the celebrated owl killer. Armed with your trust golden hammer and a whistle, you make your way through eighty-six owl-packed levels, beating the nocturnal birds to death. With music by Jarvis Cocker and graphics inspired by the paintings of Edward Gorey, this was one hot potato. Of a game.
Wednesday, 27 June 2007
Video Game Review: Ultimate Belgium Simulator (Chipfat Games)
Finally released on PSP, Wii, Atari 2600 and Acetronic, Ultimate Belgium Simulator is the latest in the line of European simulators from the people at Chipfat Games. Some would say it’s the most eagerly awaited; the gaming community is desperate to see if the company can overcome the poor reception that last year’s Austria Simulator suffered. Will Belgium be as good as Slovenia and Wales? Or was Austria the start of an unfortunate trend?
Well, the Imaginary Review has played the game from beginning to end, and we can state that if Belgium is anything to go by, Austria must have been a solitary blip on the Chipfat landscape. The game is full of excitement and adventure, packed with mini-games (the Chocolate Factory race is a personal highlight!) and satisfying puzzles.
Beginning with the declaration of independence in 1830, the gamer is taken through the Berlin Conference of 1885 and the German invasion all the way through to the Congo Crisis of 1960 and the adoption of the Euro several years ago.
The attention to detail is superb. As you wander around the streets of Brussels and Antwerp, each cobble and thatch is beautifully rendered. All the Belgian politicians of each era are recognizable, and at one point you may even notice a cameo appearance from a certain Belgian movie star! (Hint: You won’t have to be a ‘Universal Soldier’ to detect him!)
If there’s one drawback to the game, it’s that there’s not enough emphasis on the politics of Belgium, arguably the country’s most enjoyable past-time. Designing the perfect waffle and defending the banks of the Congo are one thing, but the game could do with a little more on the ‘debating sugar import concessions’ front.
Of course, this is just splitting hairs. Ultimate Belgium Simulator is a wonderful way to take control of a European country, and you don’t need to resort to relentless campaigning and character assassination to do it!
An expansion pack will be available in October. The next Chipfat European Simulator will be San Marino.
Well, the Imaginary Review has played the game from beginning to end, and we can state that if Belgium is anything to go by, Austria must have been a solitary blip on the Chipfat landscape. The game is full of excitement and adventure, packed with mini-games (the Chocolate Factory race is a personal highlight!) and satisfying puzzles.
Beginning with the declaration of independence in 1830, the gamer is taken through the Berlin Conference of 1885 and the German invasion all the way through to the Congo Crisis of 1960 and the adoption of the Euro several years ago.
The attention to detail is superb. As you wander around the streets of Brussels and Antwerp, each cobble and thatch is beautifully rendered. All the Belgian politicians of each era are recognizable, and at one point you may even notice a cameo appearance from a certain Belgian movie star! (Hint: You won’t have to be a ‘Universal Soldier’ to detect him!)
If there’s one drawback to the game, it’s that there’s not enough emphasis on the politics of Belgium, arguably the country’s most enjoyable past-time. Designing the perfect waffle and defending the banks of the Congo are one thing, but the game could do with a little more on the ‘debating sugar import concessions’ front.
Of course, this is just splitting hairs. Ultimate Belgium Simulator is a wonderful way to take control of a European country, and you don’t need to resort to relentless campaigning and character assassination to do it!
An expansion pack will be available in October. The next Chipfat European Simulator will be San Marino.
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