Friday, 27 July 2007

Special Report: London Rug and Mat Week

Welcome to a special Imaginary Review, coming to you fresh from the biggest shows at London Rug and Mat Week. In the last few days we’ve seen more rugs and mats than a paraplegic postman, so come with us and listen to our reports, as common folk would listen to bards in days of old!

First up was the wonderful show by the Mat House Blendissimo, home of homewear haute couture. This show was typified by some wonderful avant garde creations, such as the ‘Vertical Blue’ welcome mat (both blue and vertical) as well as the Gypsy Kings rug, a ten feet by four feet rug featuring all of everyone’s favourite foreign yodellers, the Gypsy Kings.

From the fabulous to the functional now, with the great display of rugs and mats by Ichython. Their new Summer range really stuns, and some of their new works are wonderfully useful, too. Consider, for example, their bold new take on the ‘Welcome’ mat. Otherwise identical in shape, size and design to the classic entryway adorner, it is designed specifically to be placed upside down, so it can be read when leaving the house; it’s a must for agoraphobics everywhere!

Not all the things on offer were as good, however. After witnessing the show by up-and-coming Barcelona-based rug emporium Honest Kev’s Smashing Rugs, Inc., I purchased one of their flying carpets, to find that it didn’t fly and nobody was around at the store to give me a refund. I’m starting to think that it wasn’t made by Belgian virgins, too.

But one can’t end such a wonderful festival of rugs on a downer, and so let’s concentrate on the marvellous things at Shrapnel and Hyde’s stunning show. Celebrities such as Victoria Beckham, Peter Sissons and the gay one from Boyzone gasped in amazement at the beautiful tartan rugs that are going to be so popular this year. My particular favourite was the all-white tartan, in which all of the stripes were the same shade of white. Tubular!

London Rug and Mat Week was due to continue until Friday, but an outbreak of lynchings has forced it to end prematurely.


Anonymous said...

In biology, sex is [URL=]free amateur sex pictures[/url]
a process of combining and mixing [URL=]naked asian sex in shower[/url]
genetic traits, often resulting [URL=]sex and the city season 2 episode 30[/url]
in the specialization of organisms into [URL=]mature free sex milf videos and clips[/url]
a male or female variety (known as a sex). Sexual reproduction involves combining specialized cells (gametes) to form offspring [URL=]sites kn men havin sex with animals[/url]
that [URL=]sex in office[/url]
inherit traits from both parents. Gametes can be identical in form and function (known as isogametes), but in many cases an asymmetry has evolved [URL=]free home sex vids[/url]
such that two sex-specific types of gametes (heterogametes) exist: male [URL=]rough hard sex[/url]
gametes are small, [URL=]sex toon videos[/url]
motile, and optimized to transport their genetic information over a distance, while female gametes are large, non-motile and contain [URL=]free young horny teen sex videos[/url]
the nutrients necessary for the early development of the young organism.
An organism's sex is [URL=]homemade amateur sex[/url]
defined by the gametes it produces: males produce male [URL=]girls having sex with animal[/url]
gametes (spermatozoa, or sperm) while females produce female gametes (ova, or egg cells); individual organisms which produce both male and female [URL=]free asian sex movies[/url]
gametes are termed hermaphroditic. Frequently, physical differences are associated with the different sexes of an organism; these sexual dimorphisms can reflect the different reproductive pressures the sexes experience.
[URL=]celebrity sex tapes[/url]

Anonymous said...

Everybody[url=]porno stars la toya[/url] heard rumours [url=]homemade porno[/url] about women[url=]free gay porno previews[/url] faking orgasms. Is that true? The majority of women have [url=]free great granny porno movies[/url] faked at least one orgasm, yet some fake almost all of them. Why do they do that? There[url=]hot blonde porno[/url] are many reasons and the case is that there's [url=]free indian porno movies[/url] no one to blame.
The most [url=]asian lesbian girls with a dick porno shows[/url] common are two [url=]homemade amateur porno[/url] reasons: they[url=]sesy woman porno pictures[/url] don't want to make their partners feel bad [url=]clips porno[/url] or they are tired and just want to end sex. Most females say that their partners ar[url=]actuarial prediction of teen porno distribution[/url] e not satisfied until the[url=]filme porno roman[/url] girls feels orgasm, there's only one way to make them feel happy and stop the[url=]filme porno cu minore sub 16[/url] exhausting procedure - fake.
Another [url=]best porno tubes[/url] reason is that a[url=]porno movies free clips[/url] typical female [url=]free asian porno videos[/url] doesn't seek for orgasm; she desires a sexual [url=]xxx tube porno[/url] relationship only because she wants intimacy. Still, such an attitude may make her partner feel bad. [url=]free older women porno videos[/url] The only way out is to [url=]fre film porno[/url] fake it out.
[url=]porno video and sex[/url] Some women never really experience orgasm while making sex, but they want their partner to feel good about himself and her. Men usually expect women to have pleasure, that's why females have no other choice. They have to fake to have a good relationship.
Loss of interest, having sex only because the partner wants to, also makes women to fake. Most females talk to their friends about such things and while they know other women act it, they do so too, because it's an easier way to have a good relationship.