Wednesday, 5 March 2008

Celebrity Fragrance Update

The big craze among celebrities these days is the release of a perfume with their name on it. Sarah Jessica Parker has released ‘Horseface’ while Christina Aguilera spent hours in a lab making her eponymous fragrance. There are many fictional characters who have their own perfumes, too, including Miss Piggy, Jade Goody and Paris Hilton. The Imaginary Review decided to have a sniff and see what the new additions to this list are like.

Alan Cumming released ‘Cumming: The Fragrance’ last year, and has spent all his time since then trying to follow it up with another. Now, he has finally finished his work, and the result is 'Cumming: On Your Neck'. The perfume smells a little wheaty, with a saltiness and bitterness to it that brings to mind memories of my teenage years. It isn't the most pleasant smell I've encountered, but not the worst, either.

The second fragrance that we tried was 'Lockhart', from a fictional character, Tifa Lockhart from the video game Final Fantasy 7. This scent is both playful and sincere, with a heavy emphasis on crude oil and bone marrow. Tifa herself has commented that she had a large hand in the creation process, and that the smell was designed to resemble the smells that she remembers from inside the womb. One problem that I noted with Lockhart was that the scent attracts weasels, and when wearing it I could not escape from the onset of small mammals. Otherwise, this perfume made me feel special, like a beautiful woman, which is nice because I am an ugly, ugly man.

Ad for Tifa Lockhart's new Fragrance, 'Lockhart'

Finally, dancing singers The Pussycat Dolls have released their own set of fragrances which come in a box set of six bottles, one for each member of the band. To be honest, when I first tested the scents I thought there had been a mistake, as only one bottle contained perfume; the other were all full of water. But when I contacted the distribution company, they confirmed that this was intentional. It seems that only one of the Pussycat Dolls' fragrances actually does anything, much like the band themselves. The smell is quite nice, but as soon as I had stopped smelling it, I couldn't remember anything about it. My notes say that it had elements of cinnamon and angst, but I have no recollection of it.

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