Adaptations of best-selling books are all the rage, with recent examples including Brick Lane, Atonement and College Road Trip. Now, Lynne Truss’s popular Eats, Shoots and Leaves has received the big-screen treatment, and – I’m told – a tie-in video game is not far behind.
Directed by John Woo, Eats, Shoots and Leaves: The Movie stars Kate Hudson as Lynne, a young writer and pedant who uncovers a cabal of evil pandas who are plotting to take over the world. The despicable Chinese bears are planning to remove commas, insert apostrophes and place superfluous parentheses in sentences around the world in order to create anarchy and chaos. When the time is right, the pandas will seize the moment and take over the Earth, unless Lynne can stop them.
From start to finish, Eats, Shoots and Leaves is an action-packed cockroar of a film. Some of the scenes in which Lynne and her love interest (played by Shia LeBeouf) are being chased through L.A. by a rogue inessential exclamation mark are stunning examples of high-quality CGI. But this is so much more than a straightforward mindless action flick. Woo has really got the best out of his lead actors, and both Hudson and LeBeouf really convey the fear and confusion that arises when one sees the phrase “Pizza’s” on a restaurant menu. There are times when this film filled me with the same sadness that I felt when I realised my son couldn’t tell the difference between the words “effect” and “affect”.
My main concern with Eats, Shoots and Leaves: The Movie is that fans of the book may be disappointed with some of the film’s omissions. While there is an entire chapter of ES&L devoted to text speak, there is nothing on the subject in the film. Several movie websites have speculated that this is due in part to the film’s obvious sponsorship by Motorola (who must have paid for all the film’s characters to be using Motorola cell phones). Whether this is true or not, I can’t say, but it can’t have been too hard for the writers to add a scene in which the pandas say “lol” or “double-you tee eff”.
On the other hand, fans of Lynne Truss’s highly anal book will love the ending. While it would be bad form for me to divulge what happens, I can say that it involves a final answer to the long-standing war between proponents and opponents of the serial comma.
In summary, Eats, Shoots and Leaves: The Movie gets lots of stars out of a possible more. If you only see one film this year, you’re an artless philistine who shouldn’t be reading The Imaginary Review. For everyone else, this is a great way to spend a barrel of popcorn.
Eat's: Shoot's; and Leaves's:-:The Movie'll be not unreleased on august Fourth. Do'nt forget to get nacho's & frie'z.
Showing posts with label Txt speak. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Txt speak. Show all posts
Thursday, 24 July 2008
Monday, 16 June 2008
New Computer Software Reviews
Computers are becoming an integral part of our lives, whether for booking hotel reservations, compiling lists of our most memorable self-love sessions or stealing music. Every day, loads of new software is being developed by human beings who are, for the most part, just like you and me, only they get less sun. I’ve been installing, defragging and gigabiting two of the latest utilities for your PC (or, if you’re a bit swish, Mac).
Chat-Room Acronym Accuracy Protector (CRAAP) from Bug-Byte Software is a great tool for parents and anyone who is afraid they may be turning into a twat. Running permanently in the background of your computer, CRAAP activates when you type words such as, for example, “LOL”. Using advanced voice-recognition software and a microphone, it then determines whether you are actually laughing out loud; if you are not, you receive an electric shock via your mouse. Typing “ROFL” while not actually rolling on the floor laughing prompts the software to give you an electric shock large enough to make you roll on the floor in pain.
I really enjoyed using this software, as the constant fear of shocks has given me and my family a Pavlovian aversion to text and chat-room speak. Watching my son Monty writhe on the floor during a game of Counter Strike gave me such a buzz, knowing that his vocabulary wasn’t going to suffer any more. The buzz that Monty received wasn’t as pleasant.
CRAAP v 2.1 will be released next year. It will have an optional LOLCATS add-on and will render anyone who says “WTF” out loud sterile using radiation.
Cameron Diaz Software have just finished beta-testing their MS Office Paperclip Toolbox Helper. Microsoft Word aficionados will have a lot of fun with this kit. Once the program is installed, the Office Helper becomes even more helpful and interactive. According to the programmers, with their software the Paperclip will now have an IQ of 14, up from [negligible], an increase of almost infinity.
To test the software, I began typing a letter, beginning with the phrase “By the time you read this letter, I will be dead.” Almost instantaneously, the paperclip popped up and told me that it looked like I was writing a suicide note, and asked if I needed any help. When I clicked ‘yes’ the little bastard started calling me worthless and telling me that “they’d all be better off” without me. To be honest, this wasn’t the help I was looking for, though had I been truly suicidal I probably really would have topped myself.
While typing out a shopping list, the Paperclip offered his help, and when I accepted he told me that I was almost out of soy milk. This is an invaluable aid to future MS Word-assisted shopping lists, and I don’t know how I managed to write them out before! I probably had to examine the contents of my kitchen, but who has time for that, these days?
The best feature of the software, however, is the one that allows you to torture the Office Assistant to death. For many Word users, simply switching off the Paperclip (or Einstein, Dog, Cat, etc) is somewhat lacking in satisfaction. The MSOPTH has literally hundreds of painful and terrifying punishments for the Office Assistants, with the option of killing them and preventing them from ever coming back. My favourites include the garroting, burning at the stake (Einstein’s screams for mercy really brightened my morning) and death by falling Rosie O’Donnell. Superb. My only concern was that there aren’t enough Office Assistants to torture!
Both of these programs are available from their respective websites for a fee, or for free if you lack scruples. If you like what you read here today, please consider giving me a donation by PayPal. Thank you.
Chat-Room Acronym Accuracy Protector (CRAAP) from Bug-Byte Software is a great tool for parents and anyone who is afraid they may be turning into a twat. Running permanently in the background of your computer, CRAAP activates when you type words such as, for example, “LOL”. Using advanced voice-recognition software and a microphone, it then determines whether you are actually laughing out loud; if you are not, you receive an electric shock via your mouse. Typing “ROFL” while not actually rolling on the floor laughing prompts the software to give you an electric shock large enough to make you roll on the floor in pain.
I really enjoyed using this software, as the constant fear of shocks has given me and my family a Pavlovian aversion to text and chat-room speak. Watching my son Monty writhe on the floor during a game of Counter Strike gave me such a buzz, knowing that his vocabulary wasn’t going to suffer any more. The buzz that Monty received wasn’t as pleasant.
CRAAP v 2.1 will be released next year. It will have an optional LOLCATS add-on and will render anyone who says “WTF” out loud sterile using radiation.
Cameron Diaz Software have just finished beta-testing their MS Office Paperclip Toolbox Helper. Microsoft Word aficionados will have a lot of fun with this kit. Once the program is installed, the Office Helper becomes even more helpful and interactive. According to the programmers, with their software the Paperclip will now have an IQ of 14, up from [negligible], an increase of almost infinity.
To test the software, I began typing a letter, beginning with the phrase “By the time you read this letter, I will be dead.” Almost instantaneously, the paperclip popped up and told me that it looked like I was writing a suicide note, and asked if I needed any help. When I clicked ‘yes’ the little bastard started calling me worthless and telling me that “they’d all be better off” without me. To be honest, this wasn’t the help I was looking for, though had I been truly suicidal I probably really would have topped myself.
While typing out a shopping list, the Paperclip offered his help, and when I accepted he told me that I was almost out of soy milk. This is an invaluable aid to future MS Word-assisted shopping lists, and I don’t know how I managed to write them out before! I probably had to examine the contents of my kitchen, but who has time for that, these days?
The best feature of the software, however, is the one that allows you to torture the Office Assistant to death. For many Word users, simply switching off the Paperclip (or Einstein, Dog, Cat, etc) is somewhat lacking in satisfaction. The MSOPTH has literally hundreds of painful and terrifying punishments for the Office Assistants, with the option of killing them and preventing them from ever coming back. My favourites include the garroting, burning at the stake (Einstein’s screams for mercy really brightened my morning) and death by falling Rosie O’Donnell. Superb. My only concern was that there aren’t enough Office Assistants to torture!
Both of these programs are available from their respective websites for a fee, or for free if you lack scruples. If you like what you read here today, please consider giving me a donation by PayPal. Thank you.
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