Film Review: Three Men and Two and a Half Men

After the tragic death of Steve Guttenberg during the filming of last year’s Three Men and a Baby Whale, fans of the Three Men film series were divided as to whether another sequel to the hugely popular Three Men and a Baby should be made. Director Ian Pinchcock has ignored the desires of the fickle masses, and jumped straight into making a fourth film, Three Men and Two and a Half Men.

Original Three Men cast members Tom Selleck and Sam From Cheers are joined by eighties throwback actor Corey Haim in the role vacated by Guttenberg. The plot of 3M&2&1/2M (catchy!) revolves around this masculine trio being forced to look after a dorky simpleton, his fat son and Charlie Sheen, after Tom Selleck’s character rescues them from a sinking dinghy. Fans of the unfathomably popular sitcom Two and a Half Men will love seeing their favourite characters gurning their way through two hours of inoffensive fart jokes and hilarious homosexual relationship misunderstandings with Haim et al.

Indeed, there is a lot to love about this film, from the bit where Charlie Sheen is walking in one direction, sees an attractive woman and changes direction to follow her mid-sentence, to the bit where the eponymous three men are forced to hide the eponymous two and a half men when having a romantic dinner for six with their girlfriends. And who can forget the bit where the fat kid burps? I’m still laughing at that bit now.

But fans of the original …and a Baby, …and a Little Lady and …and a Baby Whale will be disappointed by the lack of the familiar subtext wherein three males are brought together by the steadying influence of an immature female. I know there are numerous clubs and societies dedicated to discussing the constant feminist undertones in the 3 Men oeuvre, and they will be dismayed by the fact that the three men are not joined together by a female, but by a dork, a fat kid and a womanising buffoon. The overwhelming masculinity of this film is such that I had grown an extra testicle by the time the credits started rolling.

In summary, Three Men and Two and a Half Men is a relatively enjoyable romp through the psyche of the vapid American male, and Corey Haim does a good job of stepping in Guttenberg’s shoes. But there is still something lacking once one gets beyond the moustaches and farts, and that thing is women. I give this film three stars, which means you’ll avoid it in the cinema, but you might watch it on DVD later. And when you do, you can look out for the ghost of Steve Guttenberg, which is rumoured to appear behind a curtain in one of the scenes.

Incidentally, the makers of this film are already planning a sequel, Three Men and Two and a Half Men and the Man in the Iron Mask. I bet it’s rubbish.