Monday 5 May 2008

The Imaginary Reviewer Writes a Letter: Part 2

Last week I posted a letter that I had sent to the entertainment editor of Now Toronto magazine, asking her if the publication needed someone to write some reviews for them. Several weeks later, the letter still has not been replied to, a development that I find somewhat odd, given the quality of the epistle and the fact that I recently acquired a new printer.

So it occurred to me that my strategy had been all wrong. The entertainment editor of Now Toronto was probably the wrong person to contact. How busy she must be! Toronto is a large place and entertainment is on practically every corner! Indeed, I know of some corners where entertainment is available in pairs and even threesomes (Dutch is extra, however). With all that entertainment on offer, simply selecting what entertainment to review must take up a lot of her time! She can't be expected to respond to every single urchin who comes begging at her door! So, I decided, maybe I was setting my sights too high.

For this reason, then, I wrote a second letter to Now Toronto magazine, for the attention of their Senior Music Writer. And to make sure I was not ignored again, I added a diagram. I imagine the brilliance of my letter must have knocked the gentleman in question out of his seat, making him bang his head on a desk and forcing him to take several weeks off work to recover, as I am still awaiting a reply.

As before, click on the image to embiggenify.


p0nk said...

That is absolutely awesome!
Have you read "Letters From a Nut"? Maybe you could do a review of it. No, I'm not implying anything.

Feisty Democrat said...

p0nk, you're missing the point! Letters from a Nut is an actual book!

IR: I put in another good word for ya! I'm sure you'll get the job this time!

Falwless said...

Oh dear god you make me laugh. Like, seriously. I had to cover my mouth when I got to the diagram, lest I have to explain to these "co-worker" people, as they're called, what is so funny.

You somehow manage to hit my funny bone spot on.

The Imaginary Reviewer said...

p0nk: You know what? I actually have, but I had already written a similar letter before I did. (My letter was to the people who make Kit-Kat bars) It's a good book, as is The Timewaster Letters, which is similar and British. As Mathdude says, however, both books are too non-imaginary (maginary?) for me to review.

Mathdude: Brilliant! Thank you very much sir. Now Toronto is a good magazine, it's just missing that certain je ne sais quoi that the Imaginary Reviewer would provide.

Falwless: Thanks once again for your welcome patronage! I'm really feeling the pressure now to maintain the quality of my reviews/letters...

Anonymous said...

I've just found a new format for my cover letters!

Falwless said...

Oh, TIR, you could copy and paste the first page of the telephone book and I'd be happy. I've no expectations, you'll come to realize. No shame and no expectations.